Hi God,
I am not a faithful person, and I know you may not consider me your child. You have every right to be angry with me.
“This is my Letter To God — I Watched From A Distance.”
I want to see my kids again. My son and my daughter. I do not have the right to make this request because I left them when they were very young. I abandoned them with their father and walked away with another man. At that point in our lives, poverty was at its worst, and I could not find it in myself to be patient enough with a man who loved me through and through.
One day, after a conversation with the other man, I took the little I had, fitted it into a bag, and left.
Now I am older and wiser, and I terribly miss my children. I sometimes even think about my former husband. I wonder how he is doing after everything that happened, but then again, I wonder if I have the right to even ponder after everything I put him through.
I heard my daughter is getting married. I wanted to return for years, but as time went on, it became difficult to find my way back.
The man I followed gave me the luxuries of life, but the emotional abuse that came with it aged me far beyond my years. I never had any more children — perhaps that was the consequence of my choices. And now that he is gone, I am left with nothing. I do not care about what I have lost. I just want a second chance to reunite with my children.
How do I go back? What do I say? How do I even begin to explain?
I have been watching their lives from a distance. Sending money for their upkeep through a dear friend I planted in their lives — money they never knew came from me. I cannot bring myself to beg for forgiveness, not from them, not from my former husband, and not even from you. I know I do not deserve it. But here I am, because the desire to hold them and be part of their lives has become something I can no longer carry alone.
I know this is too much for me to ask. But if you can do this for me — if you can reunite me with my family — I will give my life entirely to you. If you could look at a sinner like me and show me mercy, I would rejoice every single day of my life.
Why could I not have been patient? Why could I not stay and wait? Things worked out well for my former husband after a few years. He never remarried, but from what I have heard, he has someone in his life. He deserves someone who makes him happy, and I could never allow myself to believe he would ever let me back in.
So God, I have heard of your mercy, your grace, and your glory. And so with everything in my spirit and soul, I plead with you. Please help me find my way back to them.
Anonymous.
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